One of the subjects I’ve chosen to research and work with while on my Ovate journey is chakras. It always seemed a mysterious concept, but I thought it would be a great companion to the inner work I’m doing through Druidry. I’ve read several sources, none exhaustive, but all pretty good in explaining the basic principles.
So I have an idea of what chakras are and how they influence our bodies and minds. I know that improving the energy flow of the chakras and unblocking them balances us and leads to emotional, physical, and spiritual well being. Okay, bring it on.
The most natural place for me to start is chakra 1, the earth chakra, or root chakra. It sits at the base of the spine and is connected with survival, self-esteem, and security. It is the grounding force that allows us to connect with the earth’s energies and empower our beings. In simple terms, it’s blocked by fear.
Fear is a powerful emotion and strong motivator for animals and humans alike. It keeps us aware if we find ourselves in bad situations and serves as an early warning system in the form of unease. It keeps us alive and out of harm’s way if we let it. But there’s a problem with fear. Fear that presented itself in the past when we needed it can hang on when we no longer need it. Fear brought on by difficult and even dangerous circumstances that served its purpose in the past may have become embedded in our hearts and souls. What worked back then is a burden to us now. It makes us doubt ourselves, gives us incorrect messages, and motivates us in the wrong ways. It can also keep the Earth chakra blocked.
I know without a doubt that I’ve held onto my fear too long. I’ve learned to let a lot of it go, but I still have a lot left. The trouble with growing up in fear, pain, and humiliation is that there was never a time without it. To rid yourself of it is to rid yourself of something you’ve always had, something you have never been without. In an odd way, it’s familiar, almost comfortable. That familiarity, that comfort, can be summed up in the old saying, “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t.” You see, in a perverse way people can be afraid of changing themselves to get rid of the fear. I am squarely in that category, though I don’t like to admit it.
I started wondering what I could do to work on this particular issue. I used many new ideas and tools to let go of so much. What else could I do to weed out the remaining fear? I did some research and came up with some useful looking ideas. The first is to clarify exactly what the fear, or fears, are. Look deep to find the very core of the fear.
For me, it’s pretty simple. I’m terribly afraid of being the useless, stupid, problem to everyone that I was brought up to believe. I’m afraid that I really don’t have any worth, that I’m not deserving of respect, consideration, or even regard. I’m most afraid that I’m not a real person, and I’ll never attain real personhood. Of course, intellectually I know this is not the case. I went back to school as an adult and earned my high school equivalency, then earned a two year associate of arts degree from the local junior college. I’ve been married to the same wonderful husband for 30 years this December, successfully raised a beautiful daughter, and started my own business that makes actual income. Not too shabby in anyone’s book, I think. But the fear is still there, and I see it clearly and distinctly. Tip one accomplished.
Now that I clearly see what the fear is, I can find the behaviors it leads to. This is where I have to be extremely honest with myself. Meditation helps to focus my mind on finding the ways I act on my deepest fear. Dodging this part or only doing it by halves won’t get me where I need to be, so I have to be completely candid to bring it to light. The best way for me to do this is to make sure I don’t blame myself. I have to have love and patience and acceptance to get where I need to go. I think I can do it.
I’ll continue this in Part 2 as I do the work.